by Sir Zaire
These are true accounts of my life. I am a 30 year old father of a 15 year old son. I have always, since my college years, had to battle with my sexual frustrations. Unfortunately, I'm dealing with them alone. I have no one close to me who I could talk with. I frequent the internet for advise and an insight towards an understanding of my sexuality. I would love to know the how and why of my frustrations. I dare not disrupt my loving relationship with my current girlfriend of nearly 9 years, and would rather continue my frustrations throughout my life to avoid upsetting my son with such issues. So, these series of my account serve as a therapeutic mean of coping with this agonizing, daily, delimma, I so DESPERATELY wish to understand. Stay tuned for the continuation of my life series. All advise, insights, and encouragements are greatly appreciated. Submit your comments to: firstname.lastname@example.org
SFBM: Sexually Frustrated Black Male - a series of my life- by: Zaire
"The Way Things Were: 3 way in the woods" - Part 1
It was 1975 and I was entering my 2nd grade class. As all kids, I was nervous and a little afraid of what to expect. I knew I was now a "big boy", so I had to face my fears, without showing my insecurities.
All the other kids I've met during parent day looked eagered and thrilled to be a 2nd grader. Some of whom I recalled and knew as friends from Mrs. Plumps' 1st grade class. All I was thinking then is to have a class with them.
My mom went to speak with my prospective teachers to fill them in on my mishaps. My mom always, despite my problems, talked of me so proudly to others, that sometimes I felt she was more than enough pressure for a little kid, like myself, to handle. I recall her telling one teacher, "Yeah, my Zaire is a good kid, but he is rather stubborn at times. I wish he would stop being manish. Sometimes the boy is a little too grown for his own good." She never covered up for any of her kids. If we did bad or continued to do something she'd protest, she would not let it go. I knew, of course, she dragged it along simply because she wanted us to consider what we've done and realize the consequiences on our own. Both my parents believed in having their children think and rationalize issues on our own. They wanted us to be thinkers and to develop our own personalities.
After the parents meeting, my mom and I went home. I told all my running buddies about 2nd grade and how things will change for them, if they were to make it. There was this one special friend I've had who did practically everything with me. He and I would play our version of basketball (of course we didn't know much of the game then), make jokes and tell mutual friends, skip school, and without a doubt, talk and fool around with the girls (as my mom told the teacher, I was a manish 6 year old). My friend, Greg, asked, " Z, did you she Shelia at school? She suppose to meet me on the playground." Now, Greg knew damn well that I liked Shelia first. He knew she and I sat together during lunch and played on the see-saw. Greg was always trying to play a brotha. Just because his momma sometimes sent him to school in a cab, he thought he was ALL THAT. He and I began to argue over that issue for about a month or so and didn't reconcile our difference until Shelia agreed to "get on top" of both of us during a game of 'Hide-n-Go Get', a sexual version of 'Hide-n-Go Seek'.
That evening Shelia and I were in the woods laying next to each other. She wanted to suck my ding-a-ling, but I wanted to see her coochie-cat first. Shelia was a very pretty girl. Her father was white and mom were black, mixed with asian, so you could imagine her skin complexion and facial features. Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! She pulled up her dress and I was happy to see that split between her legs. I reached up to touch and finger her coochie. She begin to make a sound that only made me feel good and excited. I remember her saying, " Look at your ding-a-ling." It was obviously getting hard. So, without hesitating, she put her mouth on it. I liked that a lot.
Suddenly, Greg came thru the woods and told Shelia to stop. I told him to "shut his big ass mouth!" He then started after me, but Shelia told him to stop and that she wanted both of us to get on top of her. Greg and I have never seen that before on our cousins nasty tapes. We've only seen one guy and one girl. So, we agreed to it.
Shelia laid on her back. Greg laid on top of her. I stood there for awhile without a clue as to what I was to do next. She looked up at me and said, "what you waiting for, Z?" As unsure as I was, I laid on Greg. He didn't reject nor complianed as I thought he might have. He only told me to make sure I put my ding-a-ling in Shelia, not him. I was then comtemplating how in hell was I to do that while on his bootty. Shelia started to moan and grown, telling Greg to "put it in. I like it like that." Greg was saying som'in like " Oh baby. It feels so good." I didn't feel any part of Shelia. I felt all Greg's ass. Shelia, said, "Oh, Zaire,....push it in, baby,...push it in!" I noticed my ding-a-ling getting harder, but was uncertain whether it was out of an arousment for Shelia or Greg. I recall Greg reaching from behind sorta to guide my ding-a-ling. (But to where? It was no where near Shelia's private part. What occurred then was a great SHOCK!!!